Sunday, January 31, 2016


My Dear Sweet Alisa-
   Before we start another Monday I wanted you to watch this video. You may have already seen it.... but the impact it has on me each time is incredible...

 I can not describe what I feel when I watch this. I think this video has helped me figure things out somewhat.  My plan for life was be good, do my best, follow the Savior, and life will be happy. But I think what we have both found out... Life isn't easy. Life at this moment may feel like agony. Like this man we fall to the ground... almost in unbelievable pain. At a low beyond low. This crazy thing is... somehow we can get up and walk... or live minute by minute. Like you, Not willing to give up! Determined to finish this race we call "day to day life". What you are feeling Alisa, if I have felt at all- it is so sad. It is painful. That is the most hard part I think... is when we are in pain, but we still  have to and want to finish this race. We limp by feeling this suffocating feeling with each step. Then with prayers and pleads there is someone there... Our Father in heaven. He comes to our side. And he holds us. Through a feeling, a person, a thought, a glimpse of light. Instead of this mans Father saying "You don't have to do this" and his Son replying "Yes, I do." We say  "Heavenly Father I can't do this!" But his response is, "Yes, you can... I am here."
It is still painful... terribly painful. But he is here the whole way, encouraging us, holding us, and telling us it is going to be okay. Together with the help of his angels all around us we will continue no matter how dark it gets. And soon we will get close to the finish line and he will let us go! To finish! So many people in this world and in heaven are cheering for us and especially you. You have seriously been through so much. I am at awe at you. This song I am giving you is called "Redeemer" it has helped me remember the miracle it is to have a Savior... 
Alisa I know he felt what we have. He did it by choice. He felt this ache of darkness. He suffered this same thing for us so one day it will be made right and never again will we have to feel this again. Never! Because of him! .I honestly miss him so much. I miss being in his presence. I know he lives... and I KNOW we are going to be okay one day. Mine gets better and better... I know yours will too. I loved that quote that the above video said, 
"When you don't give up... You can not Fail!"
Alisa I was not kidding when I said you must be one of the strongest people Heavenly Father has. You will always leave me in awe. This week may have lots of "pineapples" but we are going to finish this race.
If you have time listen to Redeemer one more time but with your eyes closed and I promise you will feel how much your Savior and Father love you and are here for you. I love you Alisa

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